The Feeling of Helplessness and Hopelessness

Even though the Veteran may come across as assertive and strong, most often times it is a mask for their feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.  They are very intelligent beings and they are aware that there is something different about themselves in relation to the civilian.  They try so desperately to compensate for their inadequacies, hoping and praying that no one notices, but they know they stand apart from the rest of society.  They also know that society has an opinion of them due to their behaviors.  They know inside themselves that they can react strongly to situations that others do not react strongly to, and this makes them feel anxiety constantly.  They are never without anxiety.  Unlike the civilian, who may be anxious once in awhile, the Veteran feels anxiety 24/7.

The responses that we should  exhibit when dealing with the Veteran are these and you will be able to see why, if you take all this into your heart when dealing with them.

• Never use the word “you,” to them, as this equates itself as you accusing them, which triggers their feelings of helplessness and hopelessness; if their anger is deep enough this may trigger a confrontation or altercation.
• Find something positive about them, in their military service, which they are so proud of,  that you can encourage and compliment them about; making them feel they were appreciated on some level for their sacrifices.
• Substituting the word “what” or “can you help me understand  why you performed in such a manner.
• Congratulate them on their successes; especially if these successes are in their best interest for integration into civilian life.
• They are success oriented people and have a real need to excel.  Find areas where they have excelled and even exceeded expectations.
• Most of all, treat them like the heroes they truly are.  They are not second class citizens; they were trained to protect our country – something we were not trained to do.  This puts them on a whole different agenda than our daily living.

These are just some of the ways we can be supportive and accepting of our loyal and committed Veteran.  They are humans,  just like us.